YOU are your own person.
We are who we are, and always shall be.
This is something that has always been true, but somehow, we forget and keep wondering and wandering. I thought about this, this morning as I sipped my cup of tea, and observed the young kids in my garden.
My maid has two kids. The boy is 5 the girl in 2 and a half. The boy doesn’t share, throws tantrums; while the little girl is warm and affectionate (though both are adorable!). The other day, his mother had bought him a packet of wafers which he was enjoying completely, by himself. I went down to meet them and began to play with the kids. The little girl suddenly ran in, and looked at her mother and said, “Maaarruuuu?” (timidly asking, “mine?”) with the politest, sweetest, most innocent tone. Her mother replied, after a pause, “nathi. Bhai badhu khai gayo”.(“Nothing. Your brother ate it up)
She just looked down and sulked without saying anything else.
I just can’t get over that “Maaarruu” in the little child tone. I went home and got her a bowl of chips, which she gladly shared with her brother, who had already started throwing tantrums because I dint give him a bowl.
And then I wonder; who teaches these little kids what’s right and what’s not?
Who makes them who they are?
Sometimes I remember learning things like we must always speak the truth. I don’t remember whether it was only my mother who taught me that, but I do remember her telling me never to lie. I remember being hurt when my friends would borrow a pencil, and then lie that they returned it. I remember feeling hurt, not at the loss of the pencil, but the fact that people could lie. As a child, it was hard to believe that something like that can happen. Somehow, I never experienced the fast benefits of lying, and consequently, have never developed the courage to do so. But that apart, I wonder, what makes me this person?
I think sometimes, if had a daughter, would she be like me? Would she become the person of the virtues I teach? Or would she just be someone she is born as?
And then I understand that saying, “Accept people the way they are and that is what love and relationships are about.”
We are, forever, the people who we are.
We develop, we change, we grow …… all within the purview of the person that we already are. We can be trained about right and wrong… Perhaps, a character can be developed. The child can be taught to share. But his basic instinct, I guess, shall remain. The little girl on the other hand, may learn to not share with those who aren’t ready to reciprocate. But by instinct, she might remain compassionate.
And when I understand this…
I suddenly accept all the people in my life the way they are…
I suddenly realise, that I understand them far better than I did. I also realise that some of them may not like it; the feeling of being read….. sometimes when you understand people too much, it can prompt them to move away…. For their “space”. The easier thing is to understand, and accept; and not question.
Yes… I do understand YOU very well… I understand what you think and why you act in a specific manner. I understand you need to be who you are; so that you can be; so that you can find your answers yourself.
I understand who you are.
I understand what friendships are.
I understand your shortcomings.
I understand your personality.
I understand that people are –
They may grow, they may become;
I understand that I must take you as you are.
And I understand…. Because it’s a part and parcel of this hyperactive, super analytical brain 😉